Okay, so I’ve been doing some thinking. What came up this time is time travel, specifically the paradoxes that come up when people talk about time travel.

Like that, if you went back in time and changed something, that change could cause a ripple effect to the present and erase you from time. Like this.

i'll never wank again

But! Of course, that doesn’t work because if you went back in time and killed your mom before she had you, then who killed your mom? (Wha?)

That’s the popular paradox, but here’s my rebuttal.

If you diddle time in a way that might negate your existence,  reality (or as Elon and I like to call it, the simulation) is forced to reconcile two very disparate facts — that it is impossible for you to exist for the exact same reason that it is impossible for you to not exist.

So the future buckles back on the past and contorts events in such a way as to make it — however implausible — totally inevitable that you would be born and live to at least the point at which you do the thing you went back in time to do that should negate your existence but now qualifies as the exact event that makes your existence inevitable and necessary.


Which means it’s cool if I want to go back and kill Jesus. I’ll still be fine.